Posts Tagged ‘family’
I started working a couple of weeks ago. While I most definitely want to continue, it is rather difficult. There are days where I just get so stressed and can't sleep, which makes it very hard the next day at work. No giving up planned. I can do this!
My sister, her partner and their children left on August 1st for my home region, where they are staying with my parents. Tomorrow morning, Mario and I are leaving to join them. More stress there. I am looking forward to seeing the family, but I absolutely hate car rides. *eyes supply of anti-nausea pills*
There's another thing that stresses me. In January, my parents moved. They had been staying in the same house for more than 25 years (before my birth, then). It was the only home I knew and would constantly call such. Through the bullying and depression, it was the place I could always return to and find some comfort. It just won't be the same now.
In addition to work, I have been attending several protests lately. I was quite surprised to realise that I enjoy protests. I hate standing in a crowd. I hate places full of people. But I love protests. Go figure. Maybe it's the ambiance, the mixture of anger and hope, the people full of ideas. I think the movement also helps, and I mean that in the strictest physical sense: standing there in the crowd feels bad, walking around feels good.
I would have tons of things to say about the movement that has shaken the province since around February/March, but I feel like, tonight, I would be unable to do it any justice, so instead I leave with a simple phrase: protests are beautiful.
Looks like a new year started. Guess it's time for a review (apparently English doesn't have a word for "bilan" when used in an abstract or non-monetary way) of 2011.
Early in January, my godmother died of cancer. As I probably state somewhere on this site, I am atheist. I was, however, baptised as a child and, regardless of my (lack of) faith, I loved my godmother. She was a wonderful woman. Talking about her still tends to bring tears to my eyes.
In late winter, I moved into this here flat with my sister, her partner, their daughter and their cat (who, for the record, is hungry). It was, and still is, a difficult transition for me. I have a dire need of money and I don't have enough furniture (or other storage space).
I am, however, in the process of returning to this world thing. I'm trying to find some place to volunteer. I had started looking in December, but I got sick and then it was the holidays, so I got kind of delayed with that. My plan is to to some volunteering for at least a few weeks before starting an actual, paying job. At first I want something small, not too stressful, just to be in a better financial situation.
Late in the year, my parents announced that they had purchased a new house and sold theirs. It was quite a shock to me. I can understand their decision. They lived by themselves in a two-storey house with far too much room for just two people. They also wouldn't have bought just any house. My father owns a land in the countryside, the land he grew up on that used to belong to his parents. His childhood home was destroyed a while ago and the lot was split, the largest part belonging to him and the smallest part belonging to other people, with their own house on it. This is the house they bought. (On a more technical note: zoning laws prevented my father from building a house on his lot, as it's in an agricultural zone)
I could be very happy for them, but I find it very difficult to accept the loss of the house I grew up in. (Go ahead, call me stupid and childish and materialistic. I LOVE THIS HOUSE.)
The end of the year was a moment of great stress for me. The holidays in themselves are stressful: having to leave my comfy flat for a long trip home to my parents and then attending four million family meetings. I also spent several hours going through the many things I had left at my parents' home. I got rid of lots of paper I didn't need and gave away lots of clothes that don't fit anymore. That doesn't mean I didn't keep lots of things too. Books, texts I wrote, some clothes (that fit), photos (of course I didn't actually got rid of any of those), movies (I did get rid of some. I'm not keeping terrible movies on VHS.)...
In December was also Mario and I's second anniversary of togetherness.
All in all, last year was filled with changes, some for the better, but nearly all stressful for me.
Hello there people and folkses! I'm going to update you in bullet points 'cause I want to do bullet points, so nah.
- Babysitting is suspended for the moment due to the next two points.
- Been fucking sick this week. It started with a little innocent-looking cold, then I started having a big throat ache and I threw up a lot. I hadn't thrown up in years, and I was fucking glad I hadn't because it's unpleasant, and it hits pretty damn straight into the almost-O of OCD for me (I don't have actual OCD, but I have "Anxiety Disorder Not Otherwise Specified", which includes tendencies towards OCD-like thingies). Vomit is huge trigger for me and, and let's just say I'm avoiding certain spots of the floor even after cleaning them. Yeah...I must admit something though: having it happen to me might actually have reduced the trigger-ness of it, as while it was in no way pleasant, it wasn't the End of the World.
- My sister and all the family were also sick recently. Last week it was a cold/flu thing, and this week both my niece and my brother-in-law got an indigestion (is that a word in English?) because of a cantaloup. I knew those fruits were evil. That and the fact that my sister was finishing school this week has quite changed their needs.
- I was doing phone calls for volunteering earlier this week, but then with my sickness I couldn't keep it up. It will have to wait next week, which pretty much guarantees that I won't be able to start actual work before next year.
- Next Sunday is totally Mario and I's second anniversary together!!!11!!1! 'Tis awesome and he's awesome and we're awesome and I'm actually super excited!
- My sister gets her cat shaven around twice per year. He has long hair and, because he's overweight, he has a particularly hard time cleaning himself properly, so he gets horrible knots and tangledthingies. I don't mind him getting shaven, but I pity him because those who do it perfume the poor thing. It's like replacing his ID card with a different one! My cat keeps sniffing him, wondering who the fuck is that cat who keeps acting and being treated like Tao, but can't possibly be Tao, because he smells so weird.
I don't speak about my grandfather much. I don't really visit him much either. It's not that I don't like him. I believe I know why now, though. It's because I feel so goddamn uneasy.
My grandfather loves his grandchildren. It's a good thing, because he does have 16 grandchildren and and 12 great-grandchildren. He is, however, a Roman Catholic. That, in itself, wouldn't be a problem. There are millions of Catholics in the world, and I don't feel this unease around them. The problem is that he is a very, very conservative Catholic.
In case you haven't noticed, I am not only atheist, but I am rather liberal in my views. Not that it's hard to be more liberal than him. He has often reproached some of his children to have have kids before marriage, that sort of thing.
He also believes that people who are not Roman Catholics will burn in hell. It doesn't matter if you are a wonderful, kind, generous person. If you are not Catholic, it's hell for you (I have the sudden urge of saying "There will be no cake for you"). It doesn't matter if you were born in 15th century South America, before Incas met Europeans for the first time. Were you Catholic? No? Well, you know what's waiting for you after death.
I don't believe in an afterlife, but it still is uneasy to be around a man who believes your wicked ways are dooming you to an eternity of pain and suffering.
Because it doesn't end there. Just that, I could live with. I just would avoid talking about religion. And God. And death. And Sundays.
My grandfather also believes that women shouldn't wear pants, shouldn't have jobs and should spend their time at home, taking care of children and meals for their husband. Needless to say that doesn't agree with me.
And then, of course, remember how I am bisexual? Well, I never heard my grandfather talk about homosexuality and I certainly never want to. Should I get myself a nice girlfriend, I can't bring her at my grandparents', or even mention her. I don't even dare imagining what he would do if he were to learn of my orientation.
In brief, I live with an undeniable fear of him. He doesn't know it, but he is disgusted by everything I stand for and am. Atheism is a belief and a choice. Bisexuality just is. I don't have a problem with my own orientation and it generally isn't of other people's business. It is sad, though, to be unable to share your love stories with your family members.
I am back from my parents' home. I arrived yesterday, early in the evening. My cat was very happy to see me. People often say that their pet follows them around much more when they return from a trip. In the case of mine, though, there is no room for her to be any more dependent on me. Her following me around is nothing special.
The trip itself was okay. I found the car ride surprisingly short, which I say must be a first. It's about 7-8 hours, by the way.
Aisling might have led you to believe that "Abitibi" is a city, but it is actually a region of the province of Quebec, with the full name of Abitibi-Témiscamingue. The name is in some Native American language. It is a bit over 65,000 square kilometers (get your own converter, kthxbai. That's 10,000 fewer than Scotland, and about the size of West Virginia), for around 150,000 people. In other words, it is bloody wide for the few people that do live there.
I was going with my sister and her boyfriend. My sister is pregnant by about seven months. She's got a big belly and it's uber awesome!
I got to see my two other sisters, as well as the two kids of the one who has children. My nice didn't speak when I last saw her, but now she's able to speak words. She called me "Alie".
I also went to my father's land in the countryside. In addition to horses, he keeps two cats. The male one has grown so much! He is not overweight, but he is long and tall. I never thought cats could be this big! Both cats were very happy to see me and get some petting.
I spent today playing games and browsing a bit. Must take a rest before going back to work tomorrow.